How to sound like you know about wine when you really don't
Let's be honest. Most people at a restaurant table do not know what half the wines on the list are. They just pretend they do. They squint at the list with the energy of someone reading a very important document, nod slightly, and say something like "the Burgundy looks good" as if they have any idea what that means in this context.
This is not a problem. It is extremely normal. The following is a completely honest guide to doing it better.
Learn four words and use them confidently
The four words are: acidity, tannin, weight, and structure. You do not need to know exactly what they mean. You need to deploy them with the casual confidence of someone who uses them regularly. "I usually go for something with a bit more acidity with fish" is a sentence that sounds knowledgeable and is also genuinely correct. Nobody at the table will ask a follow-up question. They will simply agree.
Never say you don't recognise a wine. Say it's "not one you've tried recently"
The difference between "I have no idea what this is" and "not one I've tried recently" is entirely one of framing. The second implies a vast personal wine history from which this particular bottle is temporarily absent. It is technically not a lie. You have not tried it recently. You have not tried it ever. These are related facts.
Ask the waiter one specific question
Asking the waiter "what do you recommend?" signals that you have no idea what you want. Asking "between the Grenache and the Tempranillo, which do you think works better with the lamb?" signals that you have narrowed it down to two options and want a tiebreak. You look decisive and engaged. It does not matter if you picked those two names at random. The waiter will give you a genuine answer and you will have learnt something in the process.
The tasting ritual is mostly theatre. Perform it anyway
When the sommelier pours a small measure for you to taste, you are not actually being asked to assess the wine's quality. You are being asked to confirm it is not corked. Corked wine smells like damp cardboard or a wet dog. If it smells like wine, nod and say "lovely, thank you." If you are not sure, smell it again and say "yes, that's fine." If it genuinely smells wrong, say so. You will not be judged. The sommelier would rather know.
The second-cheapest bottle is not the trap people say it is
There is a persistent myth that the second-cheapest wine on the list is where restaurants put their worst value. At most independent restaurants this is simply not true. The house wine is there because someone chose it. If you want it, order it. The only real trap on a wine list is ordering something based on price rather than what it actually is.
Or just use Pour and skip all of this
Genuinely. Take a photo of the wine list, tell Pour what you are eating, and it will tell you exactly which bottle to order. You can then present that recommendation to the table with complete confidence, as if you knew all along. Nobody needs to know. That is between you and the app.
Upload the wine list, tell Pour what you are eating, and order with the confidence of someone who definitely knew all along.
Use Pour free